i cry you cry

todays the first day i cried. not the first day it hurt. its always. knowing the inevitable. and waiting for it. like waiting for the plane to fall out the sky. or for the pain to hit. sick feeling. knots getting tighter. be strong. dont cry. dont know how im going to let you go. wasnt supposed to be like this. a couple weeks. a month. see you later. turned into cohabitation. shacking. loving. falling. deep. out. in. with. supposed to not care. did it well for so long. arms length. kept a distance. ice cold. black heart. but you told me i deserved everything in the world. told me i was the most beautiful. broke down those. concrete. massive walls. when i wasnt even looking. days. to years. i couldnt even drink. not quite a girl. not yet her woman. not yet independent. you hate the word. running. from place. to him. seeking that. it. little black girl lost. you saved me. so why cant i save you. from me. from her. hold you and hide you from the pain. make it all go away and not come back again. you are a beautiful soul. like a bird with a broken wing. fly. on your pretty wings. dont let her take your joy. she isnt worth your tears. forgive me when its said and done. i pray.