"Because the HOW of how your success will come is not up to you. The things that you do in service of that goal? Those are yours to control. The reactions you have to the ups and downs along the way? Those are yours to have. And the reminder about why you're in this "fight" (when it feels like a fight, which it needn't, if you reframe it sometimes) to begin with? That's yours to remember." -b.g.
just read this over at bonnie gillespie's the actors voice. literally got choked up reading it. was asked tonight what my final goal would be as far as acting & such. replied with i want to sustain self through acting. solely. and maybe let it fnd some other business ideas. i just want to act. no fame, fortune necessary. but i need to act. like i breathe and eat. went off on a tangent about just wanting to create and tell stories. i am a storyteller. its why i have to act. then i happen to read miss bonnie's post and well it all just overwhelmed me. i was that kid practicing acceptance speeches in front of the mirror. the ham who always put on a show. never forget my first play at n.b.cook where i was the non-talking clown. and how upset i was i didnt have any lines. but when it came to doing my part, i stole the show. was so animated and full of what i now know as 'choices" that the audeince couldnt get enough. thats when i decided i was going to be an actress. and it hasnt wavered. just think acting got kind of serious for me for a while. and i forgot how to play somewhere in the midst of techniques and character analysis. theatre history and plays&playwrights. wasnt ready. never fell out of love though. i miss it. oh so much. and today and lately i've been wondering whats the hold up. "trying" isnt good enough. something is stopping me. myself. so i ask her y.r.u.n. it.
[insert clown picture once i find & scan. motivation.]
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